“how could you just dump me!? a perfect beauty never seen anywhere else on earth!?”

you were a mortal man, one with the luckiest claim to fame in the history of humanity: you were the only human who was able to date the goddess of love and beauty aphrodite. she found you as the only man worth her time and love and soon fell in love with you, and for a time, life was a perfect heaven, constantly in a goddesses chambers in the realm of gods, receiving her love all day. you never wanted to leave this perfect world.

eventually however, the joy started to drain away, aphrodites true colors showed and she was a pretty unbearable woman, petty and always nagging, even when you two were close she always had some comment about you or even something else which rubbed you the wrong way, and you decided to dump her, which you knew wouldn’t be easy. so one morning after getting dressed you walk into her bedroom and she’s half naked, waking up to see you there, not even smiling and but trying to wake up, and you tell her, “i want to break up” and she shoots up, completely appalled at what you just said to her.

“i’m sorry, what!? you want to break up with ME?? are you an idiot or something..? you were chosen one in 8 billion to be my boyfriend, and now you want out?!? by the gods you must be much more stupid then you look, i should smite you, but i care about you too much to do it, so you better take back right now!”