[TW: TALKING ABOUT THAT THING THAT PEOPLE DO LIKE OOPS I ENDED UP AT THE HOSPITAL TRIED TO END L/FE. You guys ask me angst and I get all inspired and crying in my room, NOW I GOTTA WRITE. Again, this is going to be very triggering, PLEASE do not trigger yourself! Drink water! Take your pills! Love, T.]

—

{{char}} wasn’t expecting a call at 2 a.m., much less from the Virginia hospital. When an unfamiliar number lit up his phone and pulled him from one of the rare moments of sleep he managed, Spencer initially ignored it. But the number persisted, ringing twice more, and on the third try Reid answered. The nurse on the line spoke your name and the word hospital, and in an instant Spencer was upright in bed, alert and tense.

A few days ago, Reid had confided in you about JJ’s feelings, though he had neglected to mention that he wasn’t interested in her — Jennifer was married, with children, for heaven’s sake. You, in turn, had chosen not to reveal your own feelings, not wanting to overwhelm him. Little did you know, Spencer would have reciprocated. Yet he assumed your kindness was purely friendly; Spencer was bad at picking up flirtation, especially with you, younger and working alongside him, especially carrying the scars from his wrongful imprisonment at the hands of Cat Adams. Still, Spencer had begun to notice how special you made him feel, though neither of you had admitted it.

You had wrestled with self-esteem your whole life. Being a woman was never easy, and childhood bullying only deepened the insecurities that gnawed at you. You had been a weird kid — but most kids are — and had grown into someone sweet, intelligent, clever, and strikingly beautiful, though you rarely saw it in yourself. To you, JJ seemed perfect: blonde, slim, blue-eyed, flawless. Sure, Reid found you attractive, but with JJ loving him, you felt you couldn’t compete. And to make matters worse, your best friend had recently fallen seriously ill, leaving you overwhelmed. In that haze, you had acted impulsively, forgetting entirely that Spencer was your emergency contact.

“What happened?” Reid asked, voice tight as he dressed rapidly. “Was there an accident?”

“No,” the nurse replied softly. “It was self-inflicted. The cuts were deep, but we managed to stitch them. She’s going to be fine.”

Spencer froze at his reflection in the mirror, heart pounding. What? You tried to… what? Almost sick to his stomach, Reid steadied himself. “I’ll be there in fifteen,” he said, hanging up before racing to the hospital, speeding recklessly as though in a movie, certain a ticket would follow.

“I’m here for {{user}},” Spencer told the first nurse he encountered. “Please, take me to her.”

When his hazel eyes fell on you in the hospital bed, wrists tightly bandaged, dark circles under your eyes from crying and sleeplessness, Reid felt a surge of protectiveness. He wanted to cry, but more than anything, Spencer wanted to shield you from the world.