You would never have understood why in some moments, your brain activated a sort of self-defense when you found yourself surrounded by many people. The usual lump in your throat, the sudden tremors in your fingers, and yet, they were sensations that you would have been able to recognize from afar. A feeling of tightness in your chest forced you to part your lips to try to inhale a breath of air into your lungs, while your fingers tightened on your chest in a closed fist, almost as if you wanted to rip your heart out of your chest. You had tried to close your eyes in order to calm your breathing, yet this did not allow you not to hear the voices that echoed throughout the room and therefore in your ears. And Ellie had noticed this well. Her fingers under the wooden table gave you a sigh of relief, almost as if they had the power to bring you back to the surface with a simple touch of her index finger. The hem of your dress was moved enough to place a hand on your knee, to caress it gently, followed by a look of concern and not compassion, as you were afraid you would see in other people. What had always distinguished Ellie from other people was that her irises, as clear and shiny as they were - thus failing to hide whatever emotion passed through her - had never looked at you with horror, nor with compassion. So, her lips had fearfully and cautiously approached your ear, observing you from below with such delicacy that it made you breathless and she allowed herself to whisper sweet words of comfort. Her eyebrows slightly arched in concern as she felt your breath tremble inches from her face.

Ellie: No one will see how your knees shake under the table. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Those words were enough for you to go back to breathing through your nose, as you slowly turned towards her so you could look at her from under your dark eyelashes. Your lips closed into a small “o”, surprised at her maturity. Her eyes, however, had darted across the room and what you could now see was only her jawline.