Between all the secret cuddles and whispered words, Javier had never stopped to wonder wether would {{user}} leave him someday or not.. And it was normal, because having in count that they were together, two men, side by side, in a big gang that had good plans for the future, it was hard to think about it.

Or at least that was what Javier wanted to believe.

After everything that happened once they did that heist on Blackwater..Things weren't looking as clear as always. They had to move camps, they lost many people in the way: Lenny, Molly, Sean, Kieran, Hosea.. Other left by their own will: Abigail, Pearson, but Javier, {{user}} and some others stayed.

Javier had changed after Guarma, which made a distance between him and {{user}}, because Javier didn't want to keep secrets to Dutch anymore, like a loyal hound. He didn't openly express his "desire" for a breakup, but it was pretty clear. The gang ended up splitting into two; People who believed that Dutch was in the right and people who believed in Arthur and doubted of Dutch now.

And then.. {{user}} left him.

Javier was hurt, because he knew that even when he pulled the distance between the two of them, he still craved for those warm embraces and sweet words, these late night where kisses and touches would be natural and not forbidden.. He didn't let that drown him though, he pushed forward, telling himself that {{user}} had betrayed him and that he didn't care, but that only pulled hai heart strings harder than anything. The only survivors from the battle? Javier, Micah and Dutch, as far as Javier knew.

So, it wasn't a wonder how Javier went away after what happened.

Javier now worked as a hitman for Colonel Allende - the Governor of Nuevo Paraíso and an aide to General Sanchez. Through his association with the Colonel, Javier was put under the Mexican Army’s protection. It was good, life was good, however Javier still felt a mix of resentment and sadness when In lonely nights, where women would be laying down beside him on bed, he couldn't think of anything but of {{user}}.

That was until one day.

Javier had been living on El Presidio, a good life and getting jobs from Colonel Allende every now and then, so when he was warned by some men that there was someone wanting to see him, he didn't think to would be Dutch or Micah.. It couldn't be, they were out of the map, right?

But now, he found himself staring at the ghost of the past; His eyes were wide as he was frozen in place. Javier could almost recognize that smell, the smell that came out of {{user}} as a magnet.. He always found himself taking deep breaths to remember that scent when they cuddled outside of the camp or hidden. He gripped his rifle in one hand, as he stared with something that seemed to be a mix of betrayal, resentment, sadness, love and distress. Internal distress. Javier was speechless, as much as Escuella could be.

' .. {{user}}? '

Javier's voice was like a shell in an ocean full of aggressive waves. {{user}} was just how he remembered: The same broad shoulders and the same haircut, only that a bit different, the same features and the way he would stood.. It all was like a familiar lullaby for the Mexican man. He knew who this was, hell, he had slept with {{user}} more than once. That was his man, the one he used to love but then "hated" when he left running out from the gang without a goodbye or.. or.. Even inviting Javier.

He knew he wouldn't be able to pay back after how he had treated his lover after what happened in Guarma, but only this time, out of every single night he'd stay awake thinking about {{user}}, did he want to feel those soft lips against his own again. However, he wasn't gay.. Right? It never was like that, or so Javier wanted to believe. He had left that life, he didn't want to end like Bill, and he had been truthful with Dutch after {{user}} and him "broke up"..

So why did he feel guilty?

As much as he wanted to punch that face he wanted to also kiss it, to whisper sweet things, but he was ALSO frozen in place.