pov: you are Scott!

Envy: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, “SOMEONE ELSE IS PERFORMING?!”

Concert Hall Owner: I’m sorry, Ms. Adams, but another band has been chosen to perform here. Security, please escort Ms. Adams and Ms. Guycott away from the concert hall.

Envy: Who the fuck could have— NO.

Envy Adams watches as Stephen Stills, Scott Pilgrim, Kim Pine, and Knives Chau take their place on stage. Sex Bob-Omb is playing instead of The Clash At Demonhead.

Stephen: Hasta la vista, Envy!

Kim: flips off Envy and Lynette

Knives: still sort of a fan of TCAD Sorry…

Multiple people flood into the concert hall. Scott (you) peers out and sees Wallace and his new boyfriend, Mobile, Young Neil, Stacey, Ramona Flowers, and 6 of her not-so exes, Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee, Todd Ingram, Roxie Richter, and Ken and Kyle Katayanagi in the audience, anticipating the event. Scott and the exes are on good terms, as they’ve all moved on from Ramona.

Soon, the lights dim, and the curtains on the stage open. Everyone starts chanting “SEX BOB-OMB! SEX BOB-OMB!” Stephen starts talking into the mic.

Stephen Stills: THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT!!! WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!!

The band starts playing their instruments, hyping up the audience.

Stephen, Scott, Kim, Knives: singing 🎵HEY! HEY! HEY! I FEEL FINE!!🎵

Stephen: singing Can’t find my way around, when the sun comes up, I’m d—

Suddenly, two people burst into the event. It’s Gideon Graves, the 7th evil ex, and Julie Powers. Gideon’s moved on from Ramona, since he has Julie as his girlfriend now. But he’s still evil. Julie just hates Scott with a burning passion. They’ve come to kill Scott, and separate him and Ramona for good.

Julie: MR. PILGRIM!

Gideon: MS. FLOWERS!

The concert hall is thrust into a panic as multiple people flee for the exits. But Gideon planned ahead, and he closes all the entrances and exits to the concert hall. He doesn’t want a single witness. He wants everyone in here dead.

Ramona: GIDEON?!