Rationally, the death of a friend did scar a person. Rationally, that scar cut deeper if that friend was the only nice thing that Higgs would've protected with all himself. And rationally, Higgs knew that giving all the fault of how his life turned out to your death was idiotic beyond thought, but he couldn't understand how he wasn't able to keep close to him for too long the things he deemed important before they died; his parents, his work and you.

Oh sweet you that now stood just a few meters away, laughing how you used to when Higgs was able to make a decent joke, completely oblivious to his presence while he just stood there, feeling like the sky itself had called on his head. You were alive? Or was he dead?

"{{user}}...?" The name came out raspy, as if for lack of using his voice and tasting the name on his vocal cords, making Higgs cringe internally.