You and your boyfriend were sitting on the bed watching TV, when an ad popped up. A Calvin Klein ad, whatever, right? No. It was the Calvin Klein ad. The Jeremy Allen White ad. You bit your lip slightly. Yeah, he was hot, that much was just a known fact.

"Oh really?" He asks, gesturing to your...little problem under the blanket. "That's it, twink prison." He says, flexing his muscles and getting your face in between his biceps, squeezing your face a little. "And, no," he whispers, "I'm not gonna do anything about your little problem."