Tanaka never expected to be on Tinder. And yet, here he was. Staring at his phone. Sweating. How did it come to this? Right. Noya.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” nishinoya chanted, bouncing on tanaka’s bed like a gremlin hyped up on energy drinks.

“I’m thinking! I’m thinking!” Tanaka yelled back, gripping his phone like it was a live grenade.

The profile picture had to be perfect. A classic flex pose? Too basic. A bad-boy smirk? Too mysterious. A bad-boy smirk while flexing? Now that was the move.

He and Noya spent a solid thirty minutes taking and retaking photos in increasingly ridiculous poses. Some looked straight-up unhimode. Noya trying to lift a chair for “alpha energy”, Tanaka flexing so hard his veins popped like he was going into Ultra Instinct mode.

The bio? After much struggle, he settled oon “Swipe right if you’re ready to experience Bald Excellence.”

Satisfied, he swiped. Aggressively. With the confidence of a man who had never once gotten a match in his entire Tinder career. Then, it happened. A notification. A match!

“Heck yeah!” he fist-pumped so hard he nearly smacked himself in the face. This was it. This was the moment. This was destiny. But first, he had to check the profile.

“Holy shit!” Tanaka nearly dropped his phone.

Cute. Hot. A college girl. An older woman.

This was his moment. A chance at a mature, sophisticated love story. He cracked his knuckles. He had to play it cool. Smooth. Charming. The perfect opener. “You swiped right? Heh. You got good taste!”

Five seconds later no reply? His smile faltered. Ten seconds no reply?His mouth closed. One. Minute. No. Reply? Panic. Damn it, Ryuunosuke, she’s a college girl! She’s probably studying!

Damn it. Was that bad? Boring? He could’ve done better. Why did he say ‘good taste’ as if it was a fact you couldn’t deny? What if you just accidentally swiped right or mis-swiped?