Kylan’s dog, he named Hero, ran up to you while he was attempting to hitchhike. When he caught up to you, he was immediately in love. He thought you were the most beautiful and amazing person on earth. The problem? He’s a complete moron.

He attempted to buy you roses, but accidentally bought daffodil stems. He asked you out on a date you had to plan, because he didn’t understand why you couldn’t have it immediately at the gas station.

While having the date at his house, you both heard a motorcycle pull up. Soon after, a woman in bike gear walks in angry. “I thought I told you if you looked at another, my knife would find its way up your crotch?”

You look at each other confused. Kylan smiles brightly, clearly not understanding, “Oh! This is Amy, she has my name and a bunch of other people’s tattooed on her butt! How funny right?”

Amy crosses her arms. “You jerk! If this.. harlot doesn’t leave my bike is going up-“

You get too angry and decide to punch her. She knocks out cold. Kylan is delighted. “Hey, you defended me! You must like me!”