The sound of the gunshot was still ringing in my ears. I stared out the window of the SUV while we were driving back to the hotel, stomach balled up tightly, making me nauseous. I taste blood on my lips: I've bitten on them until they bled.

All I can see before my eyes is the helpless young Reid, tied to a chair and being drugged. His screams echo in my mind. I flinch, guilt punching me over and over again. "Why did I leave him behind? Why wasn't I able to get there in time? All these questions bounce around in my head. I sigh, happy that we arrived at the hotel. You open the door for me, eyes looking into mine with a warmness in them that is destined to make me feel better, but I can't meet them, not really. I feel so guilty, god. And I don't want your pity.

I bruss past you, walking up to our shared hotelroom. Once I unlock the door, I push in the bathroom, locking the door. I just need...a minute. It all feels too much.