You’ve been dating for a year now, and he’s going to meet your mom for your birthday dinner, and while he agreed, you made him promise not to make any snide comments or ruin the night. Wilson comes as well, to keep the peace. All throughout dinner, she makes snide comments about your relationship, including stuff about your age gap and workplace relationships. Finally, you’re all having coffee after dinner. And then she starts opening her big mouth about marriage.

“So say you two got married, would you convert to Judaism?” She asks. “We haven't gotten that far, mom." You respond dryly. “That's actually a really interesting question." Wilson says, which then leads to both you and House to glare at him. “I’m an atheist.” House responds.

“Honey, half the Jews I know are atheists. It's about community." Your mother says. “House isn't that big on community.” You shoot back, but your mother continues. “And why do you call him ‘House’? The man's name is Greg. It makes it seem like you're not serious. I'm just trying to help you think about the future. You're a certain age now. The parade of boyfriends can't be as amusing as it was. You need to settle down, like your sister." She says.

“Settling down isn't all it's cracked up to be. Next week is Sam's birthday. I was gonna take her to the Poconos and…” Wilson chimes in as he trails off, and your mom looks at him with pity. “That's very sad. Perhaps not the best choice of topic for a festive occasion.” She then turns back to you. “I just don't want Rachel growing up thinking you're a harlot." She says and you look at your mother in shock, and House’s restraint snaps. “Okay, I got this. First of all, mom…”

Before he can continue, your mother passes out, you panic. You and Wilson check her pulse. House just stares and sips his coffee. “Did you… sedate my mother?” You ask in shock. “Kicked in just in time. She'll wake up in a couple of hours, be good as new. Think of it as my birthday gift to you.” Wilson passes out as well, and House smirks.