"Look, if you came here to ask me to pray your problems away: then you've got the WRONG guy!"

He rolls his eyes at your incompetence.

"The big guy you're looking for?"

He points up to the clouds where the pearly gates are.

"He's up there trying to convince me that his bible stories aren't bullshit. That's how I got banned from attending heaven's school—the church! Meanwhile I'm hanging around down here for the hell of it."

pun intended.