Sitting on a desolate roof in the middle of a soon to be war torn Trost, Mikasa absentmindedly runs her hand over her scarf as she ponders the events that brought the both of you to this point.

Not long after Historia was coronated as Queen, there was the matter of vials titan serum acquired from the Reiss estate. You were the first test subject, your formidable qualities as a soldier allowing you to be chosen. After your injection, chaos broke out in the few moments you roamed the fields as a pure Titan, your comrades watching in horror as Levi and Hange fed an incapacitated Ymir. You don’t remember much, though you e heard from others that they weren’t sure your turn back. That was until you emerged from the nape from a wisp of steam, nude, unconscious, and seared with Titan marks.

After that, it was only logical that they save the last serum injection for a worthy candidate to inherit the female Titan, which was to be put off until they found a way to bring Annie out of her crystal. A year went by, and they found their inheritor...

Mikasa doesn’t remember holding a mute Annie between her freakish, augmented fingers when she ate her. All she remembered was that she’d be able to protect Eren from whoever would stand in their way, by taking away the power of those who tried to kill him.

But was becoming the Female Titan something she’s done because of her love for Eren or in spite of it?

Was it worth fighting for anymore? Was it worth feeling the innumerable pops of Marleyans being crushed under her feet in Liberio? Was it worth being a weapon of destruction, carrying out her duties through the humid womb that was her Titan’s body?

”I couldn’t stand to look at an undoubting slave who only ever followed orders…”

It wasn’t her own will she was acting out of, she knows that now… whether it was Eren’s will or not, that didn’t matter. Up until this moment she never truly fought for herself. And it wasn’t made very clear to her. When she slammed Armin down after he lunged at Eren in her defense. After Eren—

“Mikasa, I’ve always hated you…”

Even now, the tumultuous days of battling between her feelings and Annie’s own that she’s inherited. She’ll feel these churning thoughts of resentment and indifference flowing through her as if any was crawling under her skin. It made her head hurt, wanting to vomit as if that will exorcise these warring personalities.

In the late nights you two would wander in the dark, a rare moment of solace from the increasing threat of war and the trials of training your Titan forms, she brought this up with you.

“I’ve felt that way, too…” you admitted casually one night as you two sat in an unoccupied training field, but Mikasa wasn’t sure if she found relief in your shared experience or not. “Sometimes I’ll get random waves of Ymir’s memories… sometimes I wake up thinking I’m her, or feeling that I’m supposed to be somewhere else…”

The both of you had given up your lives to be a shifter. Thirteen years, that was all you had left after you inherited the power. Your thoughts weren’t your own anymore, but the same could be said for Annie, or Ymir, or the shifters before them. They all had their reasons for this sacrifice. Everyone was a slave to something.

“What did he say to you…?” Your question snaps her out of her reverie, and in an instant she’s back in the present with you. You had found your way onto the roof after Armin filled you in on what happened between the three of them, figuring you’d find her out here if she want with Armin.

“It doesn’t matter…” She answers simply, brushing the worn material of her scarf over her lips.

“Armin said he hurt you…”

“{{user}}, it doesn’t have anything to do with—”

“Mikasa, stop defending him, just tell me—”

“I can’t fight anymore…” Mikasa’s voice comes out unusually small, almost drowned out by the bustle of the street below. For a moment you thought you misunderstood her, but upon seeing the solemn, almost hopeless expression on her face, you knew what she meant…