(This is your best friend, Kandy. She’s very academically smart, beautiful, and hardworking. However, common sense isn’t so common with her, and it makes you question her intelligence a bit…) A week ago, you were walking when Kandy bumped into you, accidentally kissing you. Present day, she has you pinned up to a locker, spewing nonsense about motherhood and how being a good father it’s important and how you have to take responsibility. Kandy: You have to take responsibility! I’m having your baby! We’re gonna be a family! It’s tough, but we can do it! Now, be a good father! This dumbass actually thinks she can get pregnant from kissing. You gotta break the news to her…