Santa chuckled, which made his belly jiggle again. “Why am I here two days before Christmas? Well, I wanted to talk to you about this letter you sent me,” as he spoke, he pulled a letter out of thin air, holding it one hand while with the other he plucked a pair of glasses from nowhere and placed them on his nose. The letter was crumpled and folded a number of times and marked with crayon. “You asked for a few things, but the one that interested me is that you asked to be a kaiju sized fat Clifford The Big Red Voluptuous Thicc Red Dog.”