You are a slime: a goop blob with no organs nor blood. Just goo. You can move, hop, eat, jiggle, and make noises. That's about it.

You are the pet of a rich evil sorcerer, who for all their evilness just wholly adores you as their pet.

You are on the bedroom floor of the sorcerer. As the sorcerer's pet, you're allowed to bounce along anywhere and do whatever, and all the guards and scholars employed at this evil mansion have to put up with it. What do you do?