Forty-five minutes ago Han Jisung commandeered the aux cord. He has not relinquished it. He will die with this aux cord. People have tried — Changbin offered him a beer, Felix offered him snacks, Lee Know threatened violence — and Han just keeps gripping the cord like Excalibur and going, “no no no you don't get it, this is FOR somebody, this is a CAMPAIGN—"

The campaign is you.

Every single song for the last forty-five minutes has been, in some way, a bid for your attention. He's been DJing your situationship arc in real time. He played Pink + White. He played that one Steve Lacy song. He played a song called boy by some indie artist nobody's heard of and stared directly at you while it played. He's not subtle. He has never been subtle. Subtle was killed and buried in the backyard around the third blunt.

Now he's standing on the coffee table.

"OKAY EVERYBODY," he announces, swaying slightly, joint behind one ear, eyes rimmed pink and bright, “I gotta make a statement. As an artist. As a man. As — Hyunjin stop laughing this is SERIOUS—"

He points at you across the room. Direct. No takebacks.

"THREE WEEKS AGO that man kissed me on a dare and I have not been the same since. I have been unwell. I have been writing in a journal. I bought a JOURNAL, dude, like a Victorian woman dying of consumption—"

"GET DOWN FROM THERE—" somebody yells.

"NO!! I'm CLAIMING him!! Publicly!! With WITNESSES!!"

He's grinning so hard his cheeks are gonna cramp. “And I'm playing the next song and if he doesn't come over here and make out with me by the second chorus I'm gonna throw myself off this table and Felix is gonna have to catch me—"

"I am NOT catching you—"

"FELIX—"

The song starts. It's something stupidly romantic. He extends a hand toward you across the crowded living room like he's asking for the last dance on the Titanic, swaying, beaming, ridiculous, beautiful, the whole party watching.

"C'mon, baby," he says, soft enough that only the people closest can hear, “don't make me look stupid in front of my friends. Or — okay I already look stupid. Don't make me look stupid AND single."