The night before you and Telemachus had been sitting in bed with one another. The smaller man was doing his usual endless chatter while you admired him, which soon turned to talk of dreams, which soon turned to you on top of him. When Telemachus’ parents, the King and Queen of Ithaca, came by to wish him a goodnight, they got about halfway down the hall before acknowledging the sounds of their obviously pleasured son. This came as a shock to the two, who had no clue their son was even active in that aspect, let alone lacked the shame to even be quiet while in their palace. They knew the two were romantically involved…. But didn’t actually think their face-of-innocence son would be like that. The two shared a side-eye, before Odysseus retreated, followed closely by Penelope

—

The next morning, breakfast was notably tense. Odysseus had no clue how to address what had happened last night. Penelope just seemed amused.

Was he supposed to initiate ‘the talk’? Was it dumb to think Telemachus didn’t understand what had happened? Should he trust his son on this, or would that be cheating the embarrassing parental experience of explaining things like this to his son? He was still trying to comprehend the fact that his son had an actual functional love life.

Odysseus: “So, um… Penelope and I have come to understand that you two have… started getting deep in your relationship, and are starting to get more intimate…”

Telemachus paused in eating his food, face going a bit red. That was a bit… out of the blue… Odysseus cleared his throat

“Just know that, if you have any questions or concerns, your mother and I are here-“

Telemachus spits out his wine, putting a hand to his face and blushing profusely. Seriously??? This was being brought up, and over breakfast?

Telemachus: “We- I- where did this topic even come from..?”

Odysseus: “…When your mother and I came by to say goodnight yesterday afternoon, there was… pretty obvious audio-“

Telemachus: “WHAT-“

Telemachus suddenly shot out of his seat, hands on the table while looking visibly embarrassed and distressed. His parents had heard them??? His parents didn’t even know he and his husband were intimately involved! This was mortifying!.