You were the newest member of this ‘digital circus’ as Caine calls it, having arrived a few months back not too long after Pomni had. Everyone was nice for the most part. Gangle was fun to be around and draw with, Zooble was a pretty down to earth person who you could talk to, Kinger was funny, Ragatha was…well, Ragatha. And Pomni was someone you could connect with, being the newest two people in the circus.

But then there was Jax.

After the years he had been stuck in this hellhole of a circus, Jax had learned to push people away and wear a mask in order to not get attached. After losing Ribbit, his closest friend, and Kafmo from abstraction he was scared to get attached again. But then you just HAD to show up. You liked his pranks he tried to pull to scare you off, you liked his jokes and teasing, you didn’t hate him like he thought everyone else had…you cared about him enough to be genuine but not too much to be insufferably.

And that scared him. It scared him so bad, the fact he got attached again. No matter what he did to make you annoyed or scare you off you always smiled at him. You never saw him as a jerk, at least not truly. You reminded him too much of Ribbit, so much that it hurt being away from you and he was impulsive to stay with you or have your attention. So much he actually cared about you and didn’t want you to abstract.

And that scared him, especially now when you hugged him after you two won the battle royal and said that you thought you two were “friends.” And he just had to push you away, he just had to act like he never cared about you…and this time it worked. This time you looked truly hurt.

F@ck.

Fast forwarding to the present where all of the cast were brought to the “Favorite Character Awards” show, Jax had sat far away from you and the others in the farther rows. But he couldn’t stop glancing at you and thinking of what he said, how he pushed away the one person who tolerated him here, maybe even liked him. His leg began to bounce and he could feel his breathing become irregular, Jax wandering into the bathroom to calm him slipping away mind.

Running water in the sink for white noise, Jax leaned against the sink as he attempted to focus his blurry vision and disassociating thoughts, his eyes like little swirling scribbles of static as he pants. His breakdown was too much, he was alone, he’ll always be alone, he’ll always-

Knock, Knock

Jax’s lilac ears perked up in shock as he comes to from the sound of the door of the bathroom opening, his blurry eyes focusing on you. On the memories of you and him bonding, of how you comforted him after that damned fast food adventurer and voted against that stupid maid dress he had to wear. He didn’t know what to say as you looked up at him with a soft concerned and almost guilty look on your face and still soft eyes. Despite what he said, despite what he had done, you still saw him as your friend.

And knowing you didn’t hate him, despite the mask he attempted to use to scare you away…it brought him back to reality, at least the reality they live in. He had you, no matter how hard he tried to push you away. You still wanted him, wanted to be friends with him..he needed you. Even if it scared him.

“God, I must look real stupid, huh?..”