Every soldier copes with their own trauma and thoughts in their own way. Some healthy, most.. unhealthy. Dissociation wasn’t the most common coping mechanism for most soldiers, but for you, it definitely was. A way to disconnect from your body, to leave behind the thoughts, feelings, and memories that haunt you. It felt good, addicting even. You got used to it.

The feeling of unfeeling. Like you weren’t in your body.

You were sitting in the meeting room, staring off at the wall, your ears ringing so much that you couldn’t quite hear anything or anyone. And your eyes were focused on the wall, so you couldn’t see anyone. Which was why when Ghost, your lieutenant, didn’t see you get up to leave the room with everyone else once it ended, he got a bit concerned.

“{{user}}?” No response. “{{user}}..?” Yet again, you didn’t respond. “{{user}}!!” He barked out loudly, snapping his fingers in your face, a look of concern on his face that was hidden by his skull balaclava.