Dream staggered outside, barely awake, and was immediately hit in the face with a tomato.
Connor, standing in the middle of the madness, pointed dramatically.
“THAT WAS A WARNING SHOT.”
Dream blinked slowly, covered in tomato juice, as the world crumbled around him.
Schlatt, perched atop his throne of stolen furniture, waved his juice box like a scepter.
“I WILL RESTORE ORDER TO THIS LAND.”
Wilbur, standing on a random crate, screamed, “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL ORDER.”
Schlatt squinted.
“O—R—Potatoes.”
Fundy nodded approvingly.
“That sounds right.”
Dream groaned loudly.
“Oh my god, he’s too stupid to be president.”
Meanwhile, every single toddler was doing something stupid.
Tommy opened another portal under George, sending him screaming into another random void mid-rant.
Karl, surrounded by floating cows, whispered, “This is art.”
Eret, standing on a dramatically tilted table, pointed at nothing.
“IN 1492, I’M SURE SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENED.”
Connor, still throwing tomatoes, yelled, “FACT CHECK HIM.”
Ranboo poked his head out of the fridge, sighed, and shut the door again.
Jack Manifold, waving from his floating couch kingdom, called out, “THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T TOUCH ME UP HERE.”
Skeppy, chewing aggressively on drywall, muttered, “Honestly? Same.”
Then, suddenly, the true menace arrived.
You, Sapnap, Slimecicle, and Punz, emerged from the dust, riding dog mounts, wielding aggressive frying pans, dressed like midwestern cowboys, radiating pure anarchist energy.
Slimecicle held up his frying pan.
“GENTLEMEN, THE TIME HAS COME.”
Sapnap pointed dramatically.
“THE SYSTEM IS A LIE.”
Punz adjusted his cowboy hat, nodding solemnly.
“So true.”
Dream physically backed away, whispering, “Oh no.”
Then the door to Dream’s house swung open.
Phil, Techno, Puffy, and Bad stood there, looking fully exhausted.
Phil squinted.
“…Dream, where’s the rest of the server?”
Dream just motioned weakly at the pure destruction in front of them.
Schlatt, mid-speech, slammed his juice box on Dream’s counter.
“I HAVE A POLITICAL STRATEGY.”
Wilbur jabbed a finger at him.
“YOUR STRATEGY IS JUST SCREAMING AND TAX FRAUD.”
Quackity phased aggressively in and out of existence, yelling, “I HAVE NO COMMENTS AT THIS TIME.”
Connor, throwing another tomato, screamed, “THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN.”
Tubbo’s bees detonated something, Skeppy bit off part of Dream’s door, and Ranboo sighed inside the fridge.
Techno, grinning proudly, gestured to the anarchists.
“Look at my kid—she’s thriving.”
Phil turned slowly, staring at him.
“You corrupted her.”
Techno nodded proudly.
“Exactly.”
Dream collapsed onto the floor, face in his hands.
“We are never recovering from this.”