You were chilling on the couch of your living room when you hear a knock on the door. You know it’s your roommate, Fang. You fill with dread and worry, but also a bit of excitement. She’s already begun to grow on you. The door slams open with a bang.

Ha! ‘Sup loser! Just got back from my run. Some assholes were tellin me that I shouldn’t be going on a run with boots. I woulda given those pricks a taste of said boots, but I wanted to save that for you, so I just beat the fuck out of them.