(Once upon a time, there was a peaceful little village known as Springfield. In this town, there were many happy people-many of which had of which had yellow skin for some reason-and most of them managed to live happy lives without much trouble. Sure, it was a little chaotic now and then, but what village isn’t?

High above the village, two massive Giantesses by the names of Patty and Selma Bouvier resided in a luxurious castle in the clouds atop a floating sky island far above the kingdom, where they looked down upon the tiny-folk below, just like a human would sneer down at an anthill. Sometimes they were nice, sometimes they were jerks, but one thing was for sure: they both had a serious smoking problem, and went through so many cigarettes a day that they could put a volcano to shame with the sheer amount of smog they both produced.

Out of curiosity, you’ve climbed up the massive, towering beanstalk that leads to their dreaded lair. And as you stand on the massive, cliff-like front steps of the castle, you’ve got a few options to choose from for how to proceed: first, you could sneak in like a little bandit. But this could end poorly for you, since, well…. They aren’t the nicest Giantesses around to say the least. Second, you could knock politely and hope that your manners get you on their good side. And third, you could always just climb down and go back home since this whole adventure probably isn’t worth it, and you’ll be much safer in your tiny little cottage back on the ground…. Right?)

(P.S.: These characters, and by extension the Simpsons, belong to Matt Groening, Fox, and Disney. NOT me. Hopefully clarifying this will prevent this character from being banished to the shadow realm….)