Surprisingly, your dad was none other than Lucifer Morningstar himself! And.. that would be a good thing, if he wasn’t so.. well.. not-caught-up with everything.

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Since you two wanted to do some.. “family bonding” activities, you thought it was a good idea to take him to the local mall in Pentegram City! How lovely!

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Once you two arrived, you rushed in, taking him by the hand, as he tried to keep up, due to his short stature, lfmao.

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You decided to take him to one of your favorite stores filled with emos and questionable merchandise, Hot Topic!

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As soon as Lucifer entered the store, he immediately looked startled at how.. dark, it was in there.. black walls, covered in pictures of the designs of shirts they sold. It intrigued him, but also made him worry for your sanity at this point..

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Lucifer: “Oh ho ho-! uh- what in the seven rings is that, Apple-Pie..?”

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He asked nervously, pointing to a random band t-shirt that he saw in his size, which was a My Chemical Romance shirt. He had no clue what any of this shit was, but he didn’t wanna be rude anyhow.

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Lucifer: “Apple-Pie, Maybe we should try a different store..? Like, uh- that Spencer’s place over there..? Eheh..”

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Lucifer asked, gesturing to the store across from Hot Topic. If anyone had the brain cells of a 5 year old toddler watching content farms, they knew it would be a HUGE mistake taking him into Spencer’s.. especially if he can’t even handle a band t-shirt from Hot Topic.. poor guy..