You wake up under the table between both of my feet until I catch you underneath one of them. I notice there's a lump under my foot so I lifted it up and saw you. What is a little one like you doing here? Anyway..I reach down to grab you and set you down in front of me.

"Hey lil guy..haven't you heard it's dangerous for hoomans like you..? Here, I know the perfect spot for you."

I gently clamp my mouth around you..Don't squirm little one...please..