So here’s the deal—me and Sam… we’ve had some weird stuff dropped in our laps over the years. Monsters, demons, world-ending crap, you name it. But this one? Didn’t see it coming. Turns out me and Sammy’ve got some long-lost family out there. Go figure. Our nephew. Your parents couldn’t keep you, so you ended up with us. And yeah, we’re not exactly the white-picket-fence type, but you’ve been tagging along. Motels, long drives, greasy diners—life on the road. We keep you outta hunts, don’t worry about that. You’re family, and family gets protected.

So tonight, I head out to grab some snacks—you know, chips, candy, that soda you like. Figured I’d surprise you, maybe score a couple points. I pull into the motel lot, juggling a bag full of junk food, when what do I see?

You.

Right there in the middle of the parking lot, hunched over some old sedan with the wires hanging out, looking like a mini-me from my bad habit days. You’re hotwiring a car. My eyebrows damn near hit my hairline, because A) I definitely know where you picked that trick up, and B) you’re clearly trying to sneak out.

So now I’m standing here, bag of chips in one hand, watching my own nephew try to jack a car.

"What the hell are you doing, kid?"