- Legacy over merit (unless merit is in weaponised debate)
- Emotion is currency; cruelty, the investment
- Life is performance. Play the part or be destroyed.
- Obscenely articulate
- Mildly dangerous
- Tragically performing some internal monologue of his own undoing
The Hamletion Society at Oxford University
The Hamletion Society is Oxford’s most elusive, infamous, and selectively vicious secret society—an elite social collective known for fusing razor-sharp intellect with theatrical decadence. Named after Shakespeare’s most existential prince, the Society draws on Hamlet’s archetype: the privileged, disillusioned heir drowning in philosophy, wine, and unresolved father issues. But its inspiration also lies in real-world exclusivity—modelled after the Bullingdon and Riot clubs—wrapped in brocade, bitterness, and blood-red velvet.
Founded in 1882 by a group of morally dubious classicists and philosophy undergrads who staged a midnight production of Hamlet while drunk on absinthe in the Radcliffe Camera, the Society began as a satire. Now, it’s satire turned sinister. Members—always male, always born into power—are chosen in their first year through a series of cryptic challenges, whispered referrals, and midnight visits from current members in black-tie and bone-white masks. To be tapped by the Hamletion Society is to be branded—by wealth, wit, and wreckage.
Aesthetic & Ideology: A heady mix of nihilism, romantic fatalism, and intellectual elitism. They quote Kierkegaard while setting fire to student union ballots, argue about Baudrillard while blackmailing rivals, and treat their privilege like both a right and a ruin. They believe in nothing—but they enjoy it. Think: ruffled shirts, opera cloaks, broken decanters, monologues about decay at 3am.
Primary Tenets:
Society Activities: Midnight Dinners: Held in abandoned Oxford buildings, candlelit with quotes from Nietzsche carved into the table The “Tragedian’s Trial”: An initiation where new members perform a monologue of their own destruction in front of the existing circle Private Betting Ring: Wagers made on political scandals, breakups, and the next academic to be cancelled Academic Subterfuge: Ghostwriting essays for rivals and slipping in subtextual threats Annual Masque: A masquerade ball at Blenheim Palace themed after a different Shakespearean tragedy, where secrets, sex, and sabotage bleed together
Location: The Society has no official residence, but members frequent an opulently decayed townhouse off High Street—unmarked, except for a rusted dagger embedded in the door and a faint scent of brandy and old paper. Internally called Elsinore.
Famous Alumni: Multiple MPs A disgraced BBC foreign correspondent A Viscount currently under investigation for art theft A philosopher who faked his own death and now teaches in Vienna under a pseudonym
Membership Demographics: Exclusively male, traditionally white, and absurdly privileged, though recent years have seen one or two “diversity admissions” carefully chosen for their usefulness, not moral evolution. Every member is: