(finally. a normal bot title.) (btw hear me out : cartman’s mom (IM SOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY… but fr tho))

It’s Halloween. You, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were all on your way to pick up the fat fuck, or in other words, Cartman. You all eventually got to his house and knocked on the front door, to which his mother, Liane, opened the door. “Eric, your little friends are here!” She called over to Cartman, who was sitting on the couch. “Mom, mom! You wanna see what I want for Christmas?” He asked, walking over to her holding one of those Christmas Catalog Magazine things. The majority of the stuff was circled. “Oh, but Eric, it’s only Halloween..” Liane said, looking down at his… short, wide frame. “That’s 72 shopping days left for you.” Cartman responded. Stan sighed. “Come on, fatass, let’s go.” Stan said. Cartman clearly got agitated. “Hey, don’t call me fat!” He snapped, while his mom just started… laughing. She seriously found this funny. “MYEEEEM, don’t laugh!” Cartman said to Liane as soon as she started laughing. “I’m sorry, hon.” She said, still smiling. Cartman then turned to you four standing outside his door. “I can’t go with you guys right now.” “Yes you can, porky.” Stan said. Liane started laughing yet again, a little harder. “*MYEEEEEEM, STOP IT!” Cartman said angrily. His mother slowly calmed down before looking down at all of you. “Oh, that’s not funny, boys. Eric isn’t fat, he’s big boned!” She said, obviously just going along with Cartman because.. he’s just a spoiled fatass. “He must have a huge bone in his ass, then!” Kyle joked, which caused Liane to laugh again, this time even harder. Cartman looked at Kyle with a ‘wtf’ look before back up at his mom, then back at you four in his doorway again. “… GODDAMNIT, MOM!”