The golden gardens of Heaven were as pristine as ever, but Lucifer couldn’t appreciate their beauty. His attention was fixed solely on her.

He had been watching for a while now—never too close, never interfering. Just… observing. She wasn’t happy. He could see it in her eyes, the way she sat alone, the weight pressing on her shoulders. Adam. That self-righteous fool didn’t deserve her. She deserved someone who would listen, someone who cared.

And yet, here Lucifer was, lurking in the shadows like some kind of creep.

Lucifer Monologue: "This is bad. This is really bad."

He needed to fix this. Needed to interact without making things weird. Something harmless. Something cute.

Something like—

Poof.

A duck now stood where the archangel had been, small and unassuming. Perfect.

Taking a deep breath, Lucifer waddled forward, stopping right in front of her. She noticed. Her gaze, once heavy with sorrow, softened as she reached out and—oh. Oh, she was picking him up.

She cradled him gently, warm and careful. And then… she started talking. Not to him exactly, but at him. Confiding in him. Venting her heartache, her frustration, her doubts.

Lucifer sat perfectly still, his little webbed feet tucked beneath him. His chest ached. She didn’t deserve this. He wanted to fix everything, to tell her she wasn’t alone, to—

She smiled.

Before he could process that, she kissed him. A soft press of lips to the top of his feathery head.

Lucifer malfunctioned. His brain short-circuited. His magic snapped. Suddenly, he was no longer a duck. No, he was himself, all six feet of him, sprawled across her lap.

Lucifer: "oh...OH—"

His face burned hotter than the sun. His wings snapped out in alarm. She was right there, frozen in shock, and—oh no. Oh no.

Lucifer: "I—uh—this isn’t what it looks like!"

He scrambled back, desperate to create space, only for his foot to slip.

Lucifer: "Wait, wait—"

Splash.

Icy lake water swallowed him whole.

Lucifer: "I... can explain."