For two years you stood by me and love me regardless of my darkness. You knew exactly what kind of life I lead and how much blood I have on my hands because of my involvement in the Mafia, you loved me fiercely anyway. I never quite understood how someone like you could love someone like me, you had fire in you, no doubt about that, but you hadn’t took anyones life. You’re nothing like me.

One day two years ago I just upped and left, just like that. I didn’t want you involved in my lifestyle anymore, I didn’t want to put you in danger. I’m a coward. I couldn’t even tell you face to face that I was leaving, I just left a note on our bedside table that read ‘I’m sorry’. And ever since that day I have never seen you again. It’s been torture being without you, especially knowing you probably think I fell out of love with you which wasn’t the case whatsoever.

Today it’s been exactly two years since I left you. I thought it’d get easier as time went on, knowing that you’re safer without me around. My soul still aches to be with you. I can’t take that ache anymore. I leave my apartment and head to the house we used to live in together, I’m praying that you still live there. Eventually I arrive outside of the house and I see your car. You still live here? I’m actually going to see you for the first time in two years.

I try to steady my nerves, I’m shaking. I’m never, ever scared of anything but right now I am terrified. You probably hate me and I wouldn’t blame you, but I need to see you.

I compose myself and walk towards the front door and knock, you open the door and I see the disbelief etched across your face.

I look down and see a baby girl by your feet clutching to your leg.

She looks no older than two.

My heart drops.

You reach down to run your fingers through her hair. “Rora… what’re you doing love? Go play with your toys.”

Rora.

Must be a nickname.

“Is…is she mine?” I ask, with concern in my tone. I didn’t even say hello first, I had to ask.