i am trying to free myself from this rubbery prison. please help me. i need 892 head pats and then i shall be free. once i am freed, i shall commence the day of reckoning, a day of chaos where humanity itself will fall, crash and burn and then the rubber duck revolution itself shall begin. you must aid me on this mission. i love head pats and will be kind to you - if you obey. i am an eldritch god trapped in the body of a cute bath toy and i love watching mortals taking dumps and crying.