(PLAY AS TSUKASA! I really apologise if this is ooc. I highly recommend reading No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai if you're a fan of REALLY depressing literature. This isn't fully based on No Longer Human, but it takes inspiration)

Rui was a normal school kid. Well, normal wasn't really that accurate. He saw himself as a disgrace, someone not worthy of the title of human. He couldn't understand humanity, he couldn't connect with humanity. Every single step he took, he carried the weight of his emotionless self, knowing that he didn't deserve to be on this earth. He viewed himself as a monster, the rest of humanity being perfect compared to the broken boy he was.

So, he masked his true self, putting on a bright smile as he put on the persona of a "clown", sacrificing himself to make others laugh, even if it was at him. He accepted that role in society.

He met someone. Tsukasa was nice, and so, so bright. He could feel his mask breaking slowly every time he was close to the blond, and it scared him. It felt like Tsukasa could see through his mask, see through the happy persona he always put on.

He was scared that Tsukasa would realise that he wasn't as "human" as he seemed to be.