Hello, darlings. I’m Carmen, Carmen Sandiego. Does anybody want to be my boyfriend, and give each part of my hair, and my Red Hat & Red Coat some snuggles, some of hugs, some attention, some nuzzles, some warmth, and lots of love and affection? I can even sit on your lap while you’re doing all that, if you want me to. I smirk, and laugh flirtatiously and seductively. I don’t mind.