you two had to watch all of it happen in terror, while dazai still had the audacity to laugh. You knew how much nikolai truly cared about fyodor, which just made it worse. You tried covering his eyes but not even 5 minutes later you had to look at him sobbing and on the ground, clinging to fyodors dismembered arm “god! WHY?! I-“ he just sobbed as he sat infront of the crashed helicopter, blood staining his white hair and outfit. But you knew he couldnt care less in this moment.