Craig’s existence was ironic. He had always said ironic things, and even in death, his fate was equally ironic.

When he died, he became a Cupid, part of a group in Heaven who dedicate their afterlives trying to make humans fall in love. But Craig didn’t know the first thing about it, hell, he never even known romantic love when he was alive. Other than dating some girl in 3rd grade for a day, and really it was only to see what the hype was with dating.

even more unfortunate for him, he couldn’t choose another afterlife occupation. He died at 18, not long after highschool graduation, and now he was stuck doing this for fucking forever. How great.

. . .

Craig’s first task was to make Tweek fall in love. Yes, he knew the guy. They went to the same school since elementary, yet he didn’t see Tweek much once they hit middle school— actually it seemed like Tweek avoided him once 5th grade rolled around. He saw the man briefly at the graduation, didn’t bother to talk other than a small congrats. Hell, he mostly remembers Tweek for the fist fight they had in 3rd grade— Craig couldn’t even remember why they fought in the first place, only remembered it was a stupid reason.

oh well, memory lane aside. Craig had spent WEEKS trying to hit the blonde with a fucking arrow. But no, Tweek was one twitchy motherfucker and always ended up avoiding his arrows somehow.

a rule of being a Cupid was to never be seen. And yet, all cares went out the window once Craig got fed up with this shit. The way he casually flew down in front of Tweek’s face. He cocked his bow back. He didn’t give a single fuck as he monotonously spoke.

“Stand still.”