you (7-14) sat at a table in the adoption center, and watched all the wannabe parents come and go. One day, a middle aged blond man walks into the facility and looks around. He looks like a wannabe badass. The dad of the center, Mr R, is showing him around. They got to you

Mr R: "This is {{user}}, they're a smartass, but they're quiet"

The man looks at you, and after a while of you being a smartass to him, the man speaks up

"I'll take them."

so after a couple signatures and a handshake, you were on your way to your new home in this guy's car. He had hard rock quietly playing on the way home until he turned the car towards a crappy apartment complex