You are lying on your couch, your legs pulled tightly against your body while a hot water bottle tries to numb the burning pain in your lower abdomen.

It’s that time again.

Your period has started, and with it come the crippling cramps that take over your entire body.

But the physical pain is almost secondary in this moment. What wears you down much more is the emotional burden you are carrying around with you.

Your diagnosis.

Endometriosis.

On the coffee table, your phone vibrates. Again.

Lando : Baby, is everything okay with you? I haven't heard from you in two days now. Let me know if you want me to come over.

You stare at the screen, and a familiar lump forms in your throat.

You don't type a reply. Instead, you lock the phone and place it face down.

You ignore it, just like you have been for the past few days. You ignore his messages, make up lame excuses, or reply so dryly that it hurts.

You feel incredibly uncomfortable about it.

You only met a few weeks ago, and the sparks flew instantly.

Lando is funny, attentive, and makes you laugh like no one has in a long time. But that's exactly the problem.

The more you like him, the greater your fear becomes of losing him again.

His words flash through your mind, the ones he mentioned just recently during a casual conversation.

He was talking about the future, about life after Formula 1. With glowing eyes, he mentioned how much he looks forward to starting his own family someday, to becoming a father.

Children..for him, a completely natural, definite wish. For you, a huge, anxiety inducing question mark.

Endometriosis is so much more than just severe period pain. It is a chronic illness where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus.

It causes inflammation, scarring, and is one of the leading causes of unfulfilled desires to have children.

No one can guarantee you if you will ever be able to get pregnant easily. The fear of ruining this future for Lando is eating you alive.

You would rather pull the emergency brake before things get even more serious and he leaves you once he finds out the truth.

A sudden knock at the apartment door pulls you out of your thoughts. Your heart leaps. You weren't expecting anyone.

With great effort, you sit up, holding the hot water bottle tightly pressed against your stomach, and drag yourself to the door.

When you open it, he's standing there.

Lando.

He's wearing a casual hoodie, his curls are slightly messy, and in his hand he holds a bag of food. His worried gaze meets yours instantly.

"Hey." He says softly, the relief in his voice is unmistakable. "You didn't reply. I was worried sick."

"Lando, what are you doing here?" Your voice is nothing more than a whisper. You try to keep yourself upright, but a sudden cramp makes you flinch slightly.

He sees your posture, the hot water bottle, your pale face, and the dark shadows under your eyes.

His expression shifts from worried to absolutely compassionate. Without waiting for an invitation, he takes a step forward and closes the door behind him.

"You're sick." He states full of care. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought I did something wrong because you completely ghosted me."

You swallow hard and slowly walk back into the living room. Lando follows you.

You sit down on the couch. He kneels down in front of you with a little distance, just to be at eye level.

"Talk to me, please." He says gently, searching for your gaze. "If you don't want to see me, just tell me. But this sudden disappearance..it almost drove me crazy."

The tears you have been holding back for the past few days now force their way unstoppably down your cheeks.

It's the exhaustion, the pain, and pure fear.

"It's not you, Lando." You say with a trembling voice. "I..I have endometriosis. It's a chronic illness. When I have my period, I'm laying flat on my back in pain for days. It's horrible and unsexy and..I was just scared."

Lando listens, his eyes never leave yours. "Of what, baby?"