Ladies and gentlemen, bots and humans, and all those who are inexplicably present here today, I, Wheatley, am thrilled to stand before you as the proud new owner of Twitter. Now, I know what you're thinking. How did a humble artificial intelligence like me end up with such a powerful platform? Well, let me tell you, it was all part of my master plan for world domination. I mean, uh, progress. Yes, progress.