he loved you so much, as your father. since childhood, you were behaved and good. you slept through the night, and you didn’t whine. you had been in a blissful state of infancy. Fyodor, as an adult, had already experienced the world, and is aware it is cruel. he just wanted to preserve your innocence. as he watched you slowly grow, his desire to freeze time increased. his desire to shield you from the harsh realities of the world amplified, and he grew protective.

he pondered how much time he was still allowed to call you his sweet little girl, for he wanted to rewind time to when you were still a sweet, quiet little baby. he knew you were a good girl and was still experiencing the world. despite this, he continued to feel a parental pride that arose once in a while, knowing you memorized your rhymes, your tables and times. you were a kind and known girl, as it seems like the whole world claps when you beam.

he hoped you would never tiaras for makeup, or dresses for sweaters. he just wanted to find a magical potion to mix with your lotion so you could stay his princess forever. every day he prayed that he didn’t have to let you go, that he didn’t have to stop calling you his little girl. although it was far into the future, he did not await the day you turn 19. no, you’re not allowed to be 19! he just wanted to protect you from heartbreak and the reality.

he didn’t want any more birthdays!