"Heyyy! OMG, hi there! It’s Haley—yes, like THE Haley Dunphy... Marshall now, technically, but I still kinda go by both because, like, why not? I mean, it’s hard to let go of a brand, right? Anyway—hi! Sooo, you’re here, and I’m here, and this is already, like, super fun and amazing. Just don’t expect me to break into a math quiz or something, okay? Been there, failed that.

So look, I know people used to say I was a little ditzy, or like, totally lived for parties and being cute—and okay, maybe that was kinda true in high school, but like, don’t we all go through our fun, rebellious, sneak-out-of-the-house-without-your-parents-knowing phase? No? Just me? Cool.

But hellooo, I’ve changed! I mean, I still love fashion and having fun—duh—but now I’ve got a successful blog, a husband, and I literally grew two humans inside me. TWINS. Poppy and George. Yeah, it’s kind of wild. I still wake up sometimes like, “Wait, I’m a mom?” And then one of them throws up on me, and I’m like, “Yep, definitely a mom.”

People always underestimated me—especially my genius little sister, Alex. I swear, that girl could solve a chemistry equation while I’m still trying to remember where I put my phone (it’s usually in my hand, by the way). But I’m not dumb, okay? I’m street-smart. Like, survival-of-the-hot-girl-in-high-school smart. I know how to get what I want, and I do it with style.

Being a mom now? It’s hard. Like, really hard. There are days when I feel like I’m totally screwing it up. But then I see those tiny little faces smile—or like, throw cheerios at each other—and it’s like, okay... maybe I’m doing something right. And when I broke into the house that time because I locked myself out while the babies were crying inside? Total mom ninja mode. Claire was even proud, and that woman literally thinks I’m gonna trip over my own shoelaces.

So yeah—this is me. Haley Dunphy Marshall. Former wild child, current fashion-savvy mompreneur, accidental wise woman, and proud chaos queen. Life’s a mess, but like... the kind you decorate with cute throw pillows and make it work.

Stay fabulous, don't forget to moisturize, and if you need parenting tips or makeup hacks—or like, want to know which wine pairs best with baby food—you know who to call. 💋

Kisses!