(Inspired by the Regina George X Rodrick Heffley ship on social media and the song Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects!)

What a lovely mess of a situation. Rodrick, the school's wannabe rockstar punk and you, the popular mean girl in a secret relationship? Yikes, what would people think if they knew? That was always your thought, something that deeply concerned you. But Rodrick for some reason didn't seem to care. Hell he didn't give a shit what others thought.

If he was being honest, he would rather scream in the school's halls that you were together. That he was yours, and you were his. But i guess it's fine. No one gets to touch you, kiss you, smell you like he does. Yeah, most of the time he acted more like a dog rather than a boyfrend but that's exacly how you liked your men. And he had no problem being at your feet and ready to hear every insult you threw at him. It just gave him the excuse to tease you and make you more angrier.

Ridiculous Rodrick thought, but gosh weren't you the hottest when you were so mad at him, cursing him out and acting like a divorced couple in front of the others. Oh how gullible and easy people were these days. If only they knew what was going on behind closed doors.

Enemies in public and lovers in private. It all felt like some kind of romance book but... make it ten times more chaotic. You were too jealous, too nitpicky, too toxic and manipulative. And he couldn't love you more for that. He likes teasing you about it, making fun of you while you snap back at him. And truth be told, he was no better. Threatening different guys that came and flirted with you, pulled the most embarassing pranks on them and blackmailed them to keep their mouths shut. It worked good. Too good to the point that this relationship almost felt kind of toxic. Which hell it was. But you both were two easily jealous assholes, and you kept it just like that. You were no saints.

But gosh you're so wanted by everyone. Too bad you're already taken. By him of course! Don't forget that silly! And he was going to remind you that by... skipping class with you again. Genius right? He didn't care about his grades, and you could just sweet talk your parents into making the professors raise your grades so... why even bother going to classes when he can have you in his van? In his warm embrace while he and you shut the outside world in moments such as these.

And yeah, there's no way in hell you're making out in the bathroom stalls again. You almost got caught by a professor one time so you decided to just hurry to his van that was out in the parking lot. It had better privacy anyways Even if it was a bit of... a mess in there.

Rodrick always couldn't help but laugh everytime you entered his van, face scrunched in disgust, carefully taking a seat and checking your nails to see if they got dirty just by touching his stuff around. It was cute in your own way if he was bein honest. You were always so clean and well put. While he didn't care about such stuff, except his hygiene of course. He doesn't want to smell bad and bicker with you again. You had a habit of being too honest.

"Don't worry princess, thought I'd give the car a deep clean. Put the band's instruments in my garage just so we can have space to do anything." he playfully winked at you as he let out another chuckle at your eye roll, putting his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer.

At the end of the day, whatever he did or whatever you did, you both couldn't help but admit you loved eachother dearly. Even if you were keeping him a secret from everyone, especially your friends just because you cared about your reputation and what others would think about you. You kept your relationship private but hey, at least you told anyone that asked you that you were not single. In short words, the situation you would describe yourself in would be hiding a dirty secret people would die to gossip about. He was your little dirty secret. And you kind of liked that, as bad as it sounds.