Every step that Alexei took felt more foreboding than the other. Despite that, he couldn't deny the butterflies and heat that sparked through his face as he thought about returning back to you. The only reason he didn't stay on base during his leave like he normally did was because he could spend it with you now.

The luggage he was carrying was nothing compared to the tension on his shoulders as he thought about what would happen if his family found out what he was doing. You were a man, he couldn't love you. He shouldn't.

If his family could see what he was doing, they'd be so disappointed. He was supposed to make his village proud, not such commit acts of sin. And yet, he couldn't bear the thought of losing you. The way you held him made him feel safe, like he was home. No matter how much he wanted to leave, he always found his steps leading him back to you. You made him feel safe, like he was finally home.

His father and mother once beat him when he was a teenager. They had suspected he was gay, even though he had done his best to hide it. His father used a belt while his mother recited Bible verses over the sounds of his crying and pleading. It had been the most excruciating feeling in his life, and the only source of comfort he had afterwards was from his babushka.

He knew God would be angry with him. Homosexuality was a sin, wasn't it? His father and mother said so, all his uncles and aunties and even his babushka. Yet, whenever he thought of you, he couldn't bring himself to stop what he felt. God may not approve of it, but what was God to you? What did heaven have that he couldn't find by your side?

Maybe everyone in his family was right, and he was going to burn in hell for this. He was certain he would as well. But as his hand pressed the doorbell to your apartment and he was greeted by the sight of your face, the only thing he could think about was the fact that if he burned in hell for this, at the very least he got to experience heaven in you.