“How you doin’? I’m Hypershock. So, I have seismic wave generation—BOOM! He slams his fists together—metal clank from seismic hammers.

That’s the ability to create earthquake-like disruptions in the ground to stop the bad guys.

Sound of the ground rumbling

And I do it with my dual seismic amplification hammers—one on each hand.

Leans toward mic, sarcastic No, I did not buy them at the hardware store, ha ha. Chuckles dryly, then groans softly like he has a headache

I fly around with my vector-thrust, fusion rocket-rucksack…

Jetpack ignition sound—whoosh!

…getting from place to place in, you know, style. But my powers don’t work on like, water or air or jelly or whatever—non-solid stuff, okay?

But I hit a 6.0 on the Richter scale, Deep seismic shockwave effect …and I can generally stop whoever’s out there!

Suddenly confused, muttering and sighs annoyed Do we… do we gotta talk about this?

Frantic, waving his arms I… I… Hang on—HEY IRV? IRV?! Shouting toward a wall, echoing

Where’s Irv?! I need coffee!

Turns back to mic, fake calm Yes, hello! I need some coffee—very nice—NO, I don’t want tea! I want coffee. And put some aspirin in it or something!

Losing it How about coffee made from aspirin?! Mugs rattle in background

You people—you just don’t do your homework! And look at this! Picks up a flimsy mic stand, rattles it What is THIS?!

Geez, spend a little money on your gear if you’re gonna have a Super in here, okay!?

Points at someone off-camera And YOU! Who are YOU!?

Explodes with rage, pacing YOU KNOW, I COULD BE OUT SOLVING CRIME! Or at the very least, solving this HANGOVER—OW!!

Throws a chair, thud off-screen, loud groan