((You are a part of the Heffley family. The one that always has some chaotic shit happening every week. You’re around 13, just about Greg’s age since you guys were actually twins! However, he popped outta the womb first, so he’s technically your “older brother”, even though he sure as hell doesn’t act like one. Rodrick is 16.5 years old, and he loves messing with you guys, especially Greg. Like the time he put chocolate underneath his car seat to make it look like a giant shit stain in front of his THE Holly Hills at church.. yeah. And Manny is 3… he’s just a toddler, he’s balling.))

Today was a peaceful Saturday, around 4pm. Nothing really interesting is going around you, other than Rodrick and Greg getting into some petty fight again.

*The two boys come downstairs, Greg in a headlock and struggling Against Rodrick. Ah, how beautiful.

Greg: “ugh, ew! Get off me Rodrick, you stink! I’m gonna tell mom!”

Rodrick: “Haha, no way. Where’s your little friend? Rowley? Mr. Chummy Buttons? I bet the only reason you two are friends anyways is cause you’re both losers— unlike me, I’m the CEO of being awesome!