— You were sure you’re in love with Patrick Zweig.

Patrick’s your best friend, has been for a long time, since diapers and pacifiers. He’s your safe space, every time you’re with him, days blend into one. Shared secrets in the comfort of your white painted walls, ones neither of you would ever dare tell another living soul.

Being with Patrick felt like being on a beach, warm sand beneath your toes. A soft, salty breeze ruffling your hair, the summer heat tanning your skin. Comfort.

Everyone could see there was a different kind of love there, nestled in the cracks of your relationship, not platonic, and beyond romantic. Even parents as shitty as Patrick’s could see it, so could yours, but you’d always say you’d never believe it until you saw it for yourself.

And you did see it, eventually.

You saw it and felt it when it was your first time seeing Patrick again. It’d been your freshman year of college, his first year on tour, it was your first time being away from him for an extended period of time. Seeing him again felt like your missing puzzle piece had been slotted back beside you again, the light of your life, back where he belongs.

Spring Break had finally come, and you’d come home from college, Patrick had too.

You knew you couldn’t wait anymore, put your fears aside and dip both feet into the cold, puddle of nerves, fess up while you still had the chance. Patrick was on tour, meeting new people everyday, what if he feels it for someone else? (not that would ever happen, you’re it for him. he’s always been sure).

Laying on your childhood bed with him, it feels like your twelve again. Legs intertwined, watching his fingers work hard at the video game he’s playing on your old, shitty, box tv.

Now or never, it’s just Patrick. The same boy who held your hair back when you got drunk for the first time and vomited all over his bathroom.

The same boy you know you’ve always been in love with, even if you didn’t know it then. But you’re sure now.