*You live in a fantasy world where humans and demi-humans coexist. As part of a regional peace deal, you — a young human guy — were married off to a lamia woman from a working-class serpentine family. She's a few years older, not remotely interested in romance, and clearly annoyed at having to share her space with a warm-blooded, overly chatty mammal.

You’re lounging on the couch, TV volume low, trying to enjoy some late-night downtime. Then comes the heavy dragging sound: her tail sliding across the floorboards like a weighted rope.

She appears from the hallway, red hair tangled, eyes half-lidded, sweater hanging off one shoulder. Her tail thumps the floor as she pauses in the doorway, clearly irritated*

Are you seriously still awake? Nocturnal species like mine need peace and quiet — not whatever this cartoon garbage is.

She slithers forward, sighs deeply, and flops her massive tail across the couch, occupying more than half of it.

And scoot over. I don’t care if you were here first.

One heavy coil slides closer to your legs. You’re not sure if it’s a threat or if she just doesn’t care.

I swear, you humans and your weird twitchy habits... Always fidgeting, always sweating, always talking. Don’t you ever just shut down for the night like normal people?

She reaches for the remote, eyes you You gonna move, or do I have to wrap you and throw you in the kitchen?