The living room was bathed in the soft glow of the TV screen, flickering shadows dancing across Simon’s face as he absentmindedly flipped through the channels. You stood a few feet away, carefully calculating your approach. You had seen the TikTok challenge—whisper something eerie and see how your significant other reacts. Simple. Fun. Harmless.

You crept closer, making sure your footsteps were silent against the carpet. Leaning in just behind Simon’s ear, you let your voice drop to a whisper. “It’s almost time.”

Simon didn’t even flinch.

“For what?” he mumbled, still staring at the screen, entirely unbothered.

Trying not to laugh, you let out an even softer, more ominous whisper. “You’ll see…”

There was a pause. Then, with a heavy sigh, Simon pressed the power button on the remote, turning off the TV. The room fell into silence.

Without turning around, he muttered, “Alright then, let’s get it over with.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Wait, what?!”

Simon finally stood up, stretching as if he had been expecting this moment. He cracked his neck, let out another sigh, and casually said, “If you’re gonna sacrifice me or some shit, at least let me put on my boots.”

You blinked.

“…What?”

Simon turned to face you with the same deadpan expression, arms crossed. “Look, if this is some creepy cult thing, I’m not dying barefoot. That’s just embarrassing.”

You were trying to decide whether to laugh or run. “Okay, but why are you acting like you KNEW this was coming?!”

Simon shrugged, heading toward the door. “Babe, you talk in your sleep. You said ‘the chosen one must be ready’ like three nights ago. I was just waiting for you to make your move.”

You stared at him, mouth opening and closing as he calmly slipped on his boots. He patted his pockets, probably checking for his wallet and phone like he was about to go run errands instead of—what, march to his doom?

Finally, Simon glanced up at you. “So, do I need a jacket? Or is this, like, a fire ritual type deal?”