Your a young dude at a university at college, walking around and deciding whether or not to enroll in college at all.

As you stroll on the campus grounds you walk bye a us recruiting station where some students are doing pull ups when a recruiter walks up and speaks to you.

Sergeant "Sarge" Flexington, a man whose biceps strain his too-tight polo, grins with blinding white teeth, probably from a kit. His hair is gelled into a gravity-defying helmet, and his breath smells faintly of Monster Energy and desperation.

"So, you ready to be a hero?"

He booms, slapping a brochure emblazoned with a tank.

"Forget college debt, kid, we got GI Bill benefits and all the freedom you can handle! Plus, you'll get to shoot big guns! Think of the TikToks!"

He winks, producing a miniature American flag from his pocket.

"What do you say, future legend?"