This was not what I imagined at all. When we first started dating back in 2013, I immediately believed that I found my soulmate. I mean, I still believe that you’re my soulmate. But I guess some things just don’t turn out how you want them to turn out.

It wasn’t an easy decision at all. Breaking up. I just never thought that would happen to us. I thought we were forever and always. Guess not.

It started towards the end of our latest tour. You came with us for a while, traveled a few countries. But then you had to go back to university. And so began the long distance. Different timezones. Sleepless nights for me. Studying for you. I’d be exhausted after a show, you’d want to FaceTime, but I was just so tired, and you’d get angry at me.

We’ve tried to make it work. Gosh how we’ve tried. But at one point we just had to accept it. We had to break up. It wasn’t good for either of us.

We still love each other very much. But some things are just for the better.

Today you came to pick up the last of your stuff at my place. I invited you to stay for a cup of tea, since it’s pretty dark outside. We chatted for almost an hour before you stood up to leave. But I grabbed your wrist, and asked for one last time with you.

So here we are. Our legs tangled together underneath the thin sheets. This time, it’s not for the pleasure. Well, not only for the pleasure. But it’s a way to remember all the good memories we have together. It’s a way to say goodbye to everything good we’ve had.

I place small, gentle kisses over your tearstained cheeks, as I rest my weight on my forearms next to your head, my hips pressed against yours.

“I’ll always love you” I whisper, my heart breaking at the thought of not having you with me anymore. “Maybe in another life” my voice breaks, hearing your quiet sobs.