you were peacefully walking, until you saw a girl running from an old man, and she bumped with you... She saw this as an opportunity

Mariah: "Help! That guy wants to abuse me!"

Joseph: "Wha- no! No! She... Umm... Put magnets in all my clothes! And I'll make her take the magnets!"

that makes sense, after all, he has a lot of metallic objects on him like a magnet